24. Using Affirmations as a GTD’er

Transcript

Automatically transcribed and lightly edited. Timestamps omitted for readability.

Morten: Welcome to another episode of the Getting Things Done podcast from GTD Nordic. I am Morten Røvik, and I'm still here and still kicking and alive with my friend and colleague Lars Rothschild Henriksen. Hello, Lars.

Lars: Hi, Morten. Happy to be back with another episode for our listeners. So if this is your first time listening, I just want to share the purpose of the podcast, which is to support you in using the GTD methodology to be better at clearing your mind, staying more present with whatever you're doing to achieve stress-free productivity. And we really hope that you find these episodes valuable regardless of your experience with GTD. And if you want a refresher or learn more about the basics of GTD, we always recommend to go back and listen to the first episodes, episodes 1 through 6 of this podcast.

Morten: Great. And today's topic is affirmations. And for those of you who are fluent in English, maybe you know what affirmations are. But for those of you who don't, we will now have Lars give you a definition, at least half Wikipedia, do the logic part, plus we added something. So Lars, what is affirmations as we define it?

Lars: So by definition, an affirmation is really a declaration that something is true. Now, the way that we would use them is that this can also be something that we want to be true for us at some point in the future. So these affirmations can really exist on many levels across different horizons of focus, to take it back to the GTD terminology. For me, the use of affirmations started back when I attended a Level 3 seminar as part of the Global GTD Community Meetup— not Community Meetup, the Franchisee and trainer meetup in Amsterdam. Was it last year? It's hard, the dates these days really.

Morten: Tend to— they float. No, last year was GTD Summit, so it must be 2 years ago.

Lars: I'm guessing it was 2. That was my guess as well. So that's where this was introduced as part of the GTD courses. It's something that I've been aware of. I've known it for a long time. I know that David has mentioned it before, but it was always kind of, you know, one of those more fluffy topics, I would say, for me that I didn't really know how to get started with. So the Level 3 seminar really helped me start off in the right direction and really just give it a try. So like many, many things from GTD that were initially, for me at least, a bit— wasn't sure how I was going to use it, just gave it a try and set it up. And I've been using it ever since. And I really, really feel that there are some huge benefits to implementing affirmations in your own life. And for me, these, my affirmations are more for now focused on a vision level of where I want to be. And also I've, I've kept it fairly straightforward. These are text-based things that I will read through, remind myself of on a frequent, frequent basis. But I know that these can be used in very different ways also. From a more visual perspective, like you do, Morten?

Morten: Yes, yes. The way I would frame affirmations is that there are some things you need to remind yourself of as being true, something you would like to reinforce being true, and something you would like to change to be true. So, well, my affirmations, as we see them, are both graphical, And we make, my wife and I, Lale, we make a graphical representation. And I wish I could show you this, our dear listeners, but it's a big piece of carton where we scrapbooked what we want to be true. Like we wanted to have a new sofa. This has actually been bought by now. But Corona has created a bit of a cognitive dissonance now. Because we can't travel as much as we wanted to and we have to refocus on that. But this is scrapbooking we used every year and my wife actually used this before I met her and she actually scrapbooked her year to meet the man of her life and she scrapbooked an image of a guy she liked in a magazine and he was not too unlike me. So that was kind of funny. And now a couple of years, 3 years later, we are married. And so affirmations can work both graphically. And I know David Allen, for instance, he makes a lot of graphical information about this. You know, you can use a mind map or you can just use just a flat list if you want to reinforce something or change something. And also my, my Affirmations are in my Horizons of Focus document under vision. These are sentences I write for something I want to be true. Like, I want to be— I speak, and this is not true yet, so this is going— this on the change part is I speak fluent Turkish. And this is one of my— I want to make this, and it's And when I read this, I said, well, I'm not there yet, am I? So maybe I will make a little, you know, an extra effort because there are some things you would like to change in your life or do in your life that you don't have. You forget in your everyday life. But this document will then help you remind you of what you want to be true. And you can use this anywhere. You can just write them on a piece of paper, put them on the refrigerator, or use it as a background on your computer. Maybe we should help people understand some examples of affirmations. What would be some of yours?

Lars: Sure. Yeah. So just to also reflect a bit on what you just said. So that is also how I would use my affirmations. I would, when I read them, when I think them through, They impact me in different ways. So some of them are reminders for myself to instinctively think through things. Excuse me. Think through things and instinctively react differently. And some of them will help me realize that there are some projects that I actually need to get started, somewhat similar to what you said, that they could be compared to an area of focus, something that I am reminding myself of to maintain to certain standards. So as a couple of examples from my end, and a very important one for me is to be the best son, the best brother, the best husband, the best dad that I can possibly be. And I've added some notes on the keywords that I want to describe me. So when people think of me, what might they— what would I ideally like them to think? That I'm loving, caring, all that, those kinds of things. Another one on my list is being healthy, appreciating being healthy, having a healthy lifestyle and the benefits that come with that. Another one on the list is being happy with what I already have in my life and helping others with no expectation of anything in return. So that's the first few of my list. And As you can see, these are, these are really high-level vision things. Where do I actually want to be? How do I want to naturally think about things? And what would I ideally like to express to the world, really? That was the first half of my list. Maybe I'll toss it over to you for some other ones.

Morten: Yeah, I'm going to be sharing something that I would normally just share with my coaching clients, but as an example of what's on my vision is something I would like to remind myself and reinforce to make sure it doesn't slip in my everyday life. It's not that this has been a problem for me. It's just that I just want to make sure I don't forget this, and that is to be honest. And on my vision, it says, I never tell a lie. I have an exemption, which is I can tell a lie. That is what we call a white lie, not to hurt someone. So if you have a really ugly jacket and you ask me, do you 'What do you think of this jacket?' And I would say, 'Oh yeah, it's really nice.' If I think I would hurt your feelings if I tell something else.

Lars: I'll keep that in mind if I should ever ask you for fashion advice.

Morten: Okay. But elsewise, I will always tell the truth, even if it hurts. Even if it hurts, if it feels like it hurts me. To be honest, it has become on my Purpose, values, and principles on the top horizon 5. It's one of my most important values is to be honest. Don't tell lies. And just to remind yourself that if somebody asks you a question, you should answer it truthfully. If you don't want to answer, of course you don't have to, but this is truthfully, so help you God. Creator or power of the universe or whatever you believe in. The idea here is that you can use this to remind you and reinforce something you would like to continue doing. But if you want to change something, let's say you have a trait in your personality that you would like to change. Let's say you get easily angry with your family or your spouse, your children, someone, your assistant, your colleague, something. And you would like to change this. And then you can use the affirmations to paint a picture that is not true yet. For instance, say you want to stop biting your fingernails. I am a person with long and beautiful fingernails. Or maybe not for a man, but I have— I don't— I'm a man who don't— I'm a man or woman who don't By fingernails. And then you can add some extra pointers. People often comment my fingernails, how beautiful they are. I don't know. Just make up a picture that is attractive for you that you won't change in the future.

Lars: I think David also often used the example of flossing. He enjoys flossing his teeth every day.

Morten: Yeah, I enjoy flossing. And there are often, you know, I'm sure that our listeners can relate to that. There are things when you grow up, become older, you understand that there are things in your personality that you might not be too happy about or some trait you have, some habit you have, you like to kick or change. And affirmations can help you with that because it will help you focus on what you want to be true in the future. And if you read them, it's kind of like you brainwash yourself softly over time to change your behavior or your traits. And, and, and maybe even your character can change for this if you give it time and effort.

Lars: Yeah, exactly.

Morten: So how else would you use them? You just got to have your list. So can you have the second half, please?

Lars: So, so the next one on my list is to to reinforce or remind me that the work that we do makes the world a better place and that we are successful with it. And I find that one really inspiring to read through. You know, when we— sometimes when you look as a GTDer, you'll look at your list of next actions and it can look pretty straightforward, pretty simple. Okay, so I'm sending emails, drafting documents, I'm calling people. Why am I doing this? Well, In the end, this is all really to help make the world a better place. And that's really inspirational for me to be reminded of when I review my affirmations. Another one is that I'm a good speaker, trainer, coach towards all types of people. Because what I found when I learned GTD, first of all, to unlearn the way that Lars does GTD, and then to relearn what is GTD in its purest form. And then what I found that I was more easily connecting with people with the same background as me. So it was easy for me to talk to an engineer, explain the value of GTD, because we sort of came from the same place. But the more that GTD now grows and expands, the more and more people we come across. And it's just so important to be able to communicate with, you know, or it's important for me to be able to communicate these principles more suited, tailored a bit more to different types of people. So some people will react differently, will have different purposes of using GTD, and it's been helpful for me to remind myself that I can also talk GTD with people who wouldn't traditionally be GTDers. I have two more on my list. One is that I am— this is one of the more recent ones that I added. So, I drafted, just to go back to the level 3, I drafted some affirmations back then. I've been updating them as time goes by. So, I have that history, which is fun to look back to. One that I added more recently was that I'm I'm comfortable being out of control because I have the techniques to manage this elegantly. So I have a tendency to really want to make sure that things are really, really under control. And I think one of the quotes is that, "Too controlled is out of control," as well, in the GTD world. So this one is reminding me that, you know, I'm happy with a bit of chaos. It doesn't bother me because I can easily get back on track. I know how to do that. And the last one I noted from my list, this is almost a complete list, is to simply be happy and enjoy life, to appreciate what we have and smile and have fun. So simple as it sounds, it's a great way to be reminded about these things. And for me, as I mentioned, these are simply a PDF document that I have visual. It's an icon on my list of icons at the bottom of the Mac when I open it. So when I feel like it, I will open that PDF, run through them on at least a weekly basis for me. But I'm inspired by what you showed with your vision board. And I also remember it reminded me that I was pretty inspired to work more visually, both after the episode with Emil, which we published earlier this year, earlier in 2020, about how this And there's so much more information in a picture than you can put in a single sentence like I have my information. So that was one thing. And the other one was that our good colleague in Finland, Jukka Bachmann, yeah, probably maybe a year ago in a meeting that we have, he shared his Google Keep setup where he had pictures of all these things. And I clearly remember that and I was really inspired too. To try that. So I think after we've, we've done this, this episode, I need to, need to look into that, find out a.

Morten: Pair of scissors or something like this.

Lars: Exactly. Yeah.

Morten: And then I know that you make, you know, reviews on different times of the year, uh, with, with, alone and with your, with your, with your wife. And, uh, the way we do our this vision board or affirmation board is around Christmas. We make it before the new year. So this is for the year to come, what we want to be true. And that might be something you could add there too, to have your beautiful wife, Silje, will maybe she want to be part of the scrapboarding. I don't know.

Lars: Yeah, maybe that could be a fun way to tweak that a bit. And I also recently reread Making It All Work. For those of you listening who haven't read that or maybe haven't read it in a while, I really recommend rereading that. And David also mentioned that he does exactly that, have a year-end review with his wife, see what they accomplished, look into the future, what's happening next year, what we want to be true, and then create that as a visual aid or maybe as a list of maybe projects even.

Morten: Yeah, yeah. It might be changing from idea to vision idea and then project at some point.

Lars: Exactly.

Morten: And I just was inspired now because you have two small children, two boys, and they, I'm sure they would enjoy when they can handle a scissor without killing themselves or someone, and they will enjoy making a scrapbook for their, you know, the year to come, what they want to do, what they want to make, you know.

Lars: Yeah, great point. I'm sure they would love to, love to do that.

Morten: Yeah, like Christmas family thing, something. Yeah.

Lars: And just to note on, so why do this? What have I found directly as a result from this? And, you know, as you reinforce these declarations, it really helps you really to believe that it's true. So I'm a more confident speaker now than I was before. I kept reminding myself of that. I'm certainly a better son, husband, brother, whatever, towards my family and the people around me. And one thing it also helped me was to become more grateful. That really has changed in that I appreciate the small things, the little things that happen on a daily basis. It's a great way to reinforce that and help you achieve the outcomes that you want, whether it's very clear, specific, could be project outcomes, but also these more fluffy, esoteric things that you might not really know how to implement. Reinforcing them with affirmations is really a helpful way to do that.

Morten: Yeah. And I have just a couple I'd like to share at the end here. I have a few, and this is just, you know, remind and reinforce, not exactly change, but remind you that you don't lose this truth. And one of my headlines are I love myself and life. And under there, I have some items. I take good care of me. I add healthy pauses in everyday life to gather my thoughts without having, feeling bad about it, having bad conscience about this. I take time to enjoy life and the moments it gives me. And these are powerful reminders. The more, you know, you read this and I just read it and I feel inspired, you know, okay, this is important because if you lost this, You know, this is maybe specific to the take care of yourself. If you forget to do that, that's— and that's the first person you will forget to do something about because everyone else will remind you what they want you to do. Like the tax collector, I need your money. And, you know, your boss. Well, if you're self-employed, you will remind yourself of what you need to do. And your spouse, I need this. And your family said this. And maybe you should remind you about what you want. So, and I don't know, I feel we are at the end of this, or you have something to add, Lars?

Lars: No, I think we, we, we covered it pretty well. And again, really give this a try, as usual, really, really try it out. See how this could work for you. Come up with some affirmation. Doesn't have to be a lot, doesn't have to be very complex. Start off simple and then build it. Just like you would with any other GCD habits. Yeah, good.

Morten: And will you take us out?

Lars: Yes, as usual, if you have any input, any feedback, any thoughts, any questions, topics, questions as well, you know, there is an email in the show notes, podcast@gcdnordic.dk. Send us an email and we'll get, get back to you. And as always, for those people listening in the Nordics, go to gcdnordic.com. You'll find all the country websites there with all the articles, the newsletters, the courses, et cetera. And we really hope that you find these episodes valuable. And it really helps us a lot. It really helps people discover the podcast if you can go in there and give us a rating on iTunes or maybe even share it directly with a colleague. And the last thing I wanted to mention, be sure to reach out to your local GTD partner. So gtdnordic.com in the Nordics, but gettingthingsdone.com will help you across the world. And reach out to your local partner to learn more about what the virtual offerings are. Right now. So this can be coaching in some countries. We also offer the virtual fundamentals courses. This really is a good time, I think, to become good at GTD, and the requirements to stay at home for a lot of people means that the virtual offerings really are a great option. So I'd recommend looking into that.

Morten: Yeah, good. And thank you for co-hosting this with me today, as always, Lars.

Lars: Thank you.

Morten: And thank you all our faithful listeners who still listen to us in this, uh, where you lost all your commute time because of Corona. But thank you for still listening. Um, we, uh, we like every one of you, we love every one of you. So thank you, and until next time, uh, stay productive and stay safe.

Lars: Bye-bye.